The Work Crush Chronicles: Episode 2 - The Seduction

I just made myself laugh thinking of "seduction." If you need a recap on the pre-dating situation, please discover my sweaty ass here. In fact, you will likely need a recap as I reference each of the Sweaty Ass Events below and it's important that you keep up. 

Grasping
Once I decided to woo WC instead of just sweat at him from afar I had to come up with a plan. As David Sedaris wrote: "If you aren't cute, you may as well be clever." (Me Talk Pretty One Day.)  I was grasping at straws to find things in common. Here's what I had:

1. Las Vegas: He loves; I hate. I milked this for what I could. 
2. Politics: I'm a hippy; he owns guns. Limited potential for relationship starting. 
3. Sports: I'm an idiot; he's a huge jock (see also "Are you watching basketball?" below). I'm already bored with this topic. 
4. Work: ding ding ding... except it could also be the downfall of any attempted wooing if someone is actually smart enough to realize what a bad idea it is to date a coworker. Especially someone with my track record. 
5. Working out at fancy gyms. See Sweaty Ass event #2

The Common Straw
Every month I'm allowed to give a free full-access membership to my gym for the full month. I bullied him into accepting. He was very appreciative and kept offering to buy me lunch or beers or something as a thank you.  I told him we could definitely hang out sometime, but he wasn't allowed to pay just because I emailed the sales people at my gym. 

After the first week, I knew he was in love. With the gym. It's really nice. We talked about it every day. Then one Thursday as I was driving home from the office I decided I was taking myself out to dinner and that he should come with me. So I texted him (we only had ever texted to meet up for Sweaty Ass Event #1 and other types of things... we weren't text friends). 

6:00ish 
Me: Are you watching basketball? (I knew it was March Madness and as I jock-type I figured it was a way to start a conversation... albeit awkwardly). 

nothing

nothing

cue me freaking out and texting my friends to tell them I'm an idiot. 

nothing. 

9:30ish
Him: I am now. 
         Is everything okay? (The only logical reason in his brain for me to text him was because I was     bleeding to death in my condo.)
Me: Yes. Apparently I'm just nosy all the time. I'll stop now.
Him: You can do whatever. Watching the CU UNLV game. Are you watching basketball?
Me: I don't watch sports alone. That's like drinking alone. I will drink alone though.

Then we texted about work so I could hide my shame.

The Invitation
The next day, a Friday, I worked from home so I didn't have to actually SEE him and pretend I wasn't a weirdo. We likely IM'd about work stuff, but maybe not. I don't remember. About 3:30 in the afternoon this happend:

Him: Any plans for the weekend? (Unprecedented! We did not talk weekends.) 
Me:  I managed to smash 4 things into tomorrow and then nothing the rest of the weekend.         Acupuncture, baby shower, hair cut, and I guess I'm playing poker at some bar? 
Him: playing poker at a bar - thats awesome. Acupuncture - you should have come into the office, I have some push pins in my wall - Could have knocked that one out today. 

Small talk interlude.

Me: Are you just watching hours of college basketball? (Seriously, this is ALL I could come up with the say to this man?)

Break for IMs related to a call we're both on...

Him: I think I am out of here. Headed to your gym. Then after that pretty much nothing for the weekend. If you get the itch, and are bored - holler if you want to watch basketball.
Me: : If you enjoy someone babbling at you about things that aren't basketball, I'm in! 
Him: Not a problem. but if you are bored, let me know and we can meet up. 
Me: definitely 
        have fun 
Him: I will shoot you a note when done with gym, ok? 
Me: do that. 

Let's do a quick recap... 

At this point I don't have a date, but maybe I'll text him Sunday afternoon and see if he wants to sit on a patio and watch basketball:
Me: definitely 
        have fun 

At this point I suddenly have plans:
Him: I will shoot you a note when done with gym, ok? 
Me: do that. 

Do you like how I was totally casual? "Do that. Whatevs." What I was actually doing was freaking the fuck out. The reason I can transcribe most of this conversation is because I emailed everyone I knew (or just some of them). Hi, I'm 13. 

He texted when he got to the gym to confirm for 7. (Now we're confirming a time!?) And when I asked dumbly where we should go to watch basketball he said he didn't really care about watching it, so it didn't matter... This wasn't just sport watching, ladies and gentlemen... This was a DATE!

Swoonsfordshire
We went for dinner and then did end up watching(ish) basketball at a sports bar across the street from the restaurant until a little after midnight. It was easy. Conversation flowed. He walked me to my car, gave me a great hug, and I told him we'd have to do it again sometime. *SWOON.* 

The Rest is Herstory (You know, like history? Only feminist... I just annoyed myself.)
So it was another week and Sweaty Ass Event #3 happened and I had sub-boob sweat marks and he said "So when are we going out again?" and I said "Let's do something this weekend!"

We met me at my house and walked to my favorite little wine bar for drinks. We moved on to my favorite little noodle joint for dinner. And then we went back to the wine bar and sat on the patio and drank wine and talked and talked. And then we ordered more wine. And then he kissed me. And then he freaked out that he kissed me because maybe he shouldn't have. So I kissed him.

This is a picture I drew of him while telling people about him online and
at the same time trying to respect his privacy (I DO try).
He's taller in real life. 

And the rest is none of your business.... But don't think that me saying it's none of your business means that there's any BUSINESS for you get none of... just that whatever business did or did not take place after that kiss and until now is for me to know and you to get tiny little chunks of if it's funny, poignant, or he dumps me... and if I don't think he'll hate me too much for sharing... 

The Seduction?
I guess it's debatable for me to get full credit for the wooing because he technically invited me out both times, but I initiated by awkwardly asking him about basketball repeatedly and talking to him about my gym. I mean, I opened the door and shit... thankfully he walked through, but I get credit.