Sowing Oats

My dad’s folk/rock/blues/bluegrass cover band had a gig last night so I didn’t take my normal highway to highway to concrete jungle leaving the office. The road between my office and the venue is along a back road that used to connect two very far away towns and now just connects one suburb to another. Along this road there are the remnants of old ranches, farms, and homes that used to be in the middle of nowhere and are now just out of place in their not-quite-somewhereness.

When I drive by ranches (places with horses = ranch), I always wish I was a farmer. Someone who tills the soil. Feeds some chickens. Sows some oats.

And now I want to learn to ride a horse. And become an equestrian.

I just can't live without rageahol

Every year, when I'm first startled by the Halloween candy in August, I remember that the one great thing about summer ending is candy corn. So I buy a bag, break it open on the way home from the store and excitedly draft my Facebook post.

Candy corn, like the abortion debate, is highly contentious. I have considered Facebook blocking people for their response to my beloved fall candy, but this year I have instead instructed my friends to take their dissent elsewhere... as posts from haters will be deleted. I have dubbed myself the Supreme Overlord Of Cornfordshire, which does not claim to be a democracy, but is a Cornacracy.

So shut it! I've had a rough day.

An Open Letter

Dear Long White Hair on my Chin,

I just noticed you. Just now.

When did you move in? I've seen your shorter friends hanging out for a decade or so and self-consciously wondered if my beard was thicker than the average female's and decided that it wasn't. Mostly because shaving/waxing/lasering seemed like more grooming that I could handle. (Check in with your friends in the pits for proof of my lack of diligence.)

But who said it was okay to exceed fuzz length? Fuzz, as I determined previously, is acceptable and simply a part of my mammalian ways. Competing with my eye brow hairs is rude and unnecessary. It's not a competition. You can still be the best chin hair in the land... all blendy with the others. There is no need to stand out.

Back to School

I love the first day of school pictures blowing up my Facebook feed, but I have nothing comparable. So I made you this.

I couldn't be prouder of all they've accomplished.

It must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

It's my blogiversary. Or it was on the 5th. The fact that I wrote "blogiversary" makes me angry. Why did you let me write that?

In this anniversary special, I'll just link back to my favorite posts of the last year so all your clicking around makes my view count look better and I can feel good about myself.

Or, I'll just tell you that aside from my West Nile Virus (unconfirmed although still suspected) I've been blue this week. Just a general malaise that has only gotten worse as this rather mediocre week has progressed.

Severely Mild Cause for Alarm

I have West Nile Virus.

Or so I thought at 6:30 a.m. this morning when I started planning my own eulogy and what it would be like to be admitted to the hospital. Death and hospital admittance both experiences I have thus far not experienced personally (*knock on wood*).

What I do have is a mosquito in the house with a fucked up sense of humor and a severely mild case of hypochondria. (I have the hypochondria. I don't know if the mosquito is also crazy.)

BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL...

The "k" on my laptop is failing. I'm sure it's just gummed up with years of eating food over my laptop and the cats sleeping on the keyboard. One time, 4 computers ago, I spilled soda on the keyboard and I lost the "d" key. I would find a "d" somewhere on a page and then just copy and paste it whenever I needed it in a sentence. It's amazing how fast your brain trains to do ctrl-v instead of "d" when you get moving. Also, spellcheck helps. And learning words without a "d" in them... That's actually really hard.