Crushing

I think I have a crush on this woman who teaches my Sandbells class. Andrea, the instructor, would probably annoy me if I wasn't kind of in love with her.

1. Her class is too hard. But she always gives me a thumbs up when I drop the weights and just do whatever the hell I feel like while everyone else follows directions. 
2. I hate props and she loves them... That half ball thing, and steps, and whatever. I want the sandbell to be my only prop. I hate trying to balance on things (which I know means it's probably good for me... shut up). But I want her to like me so I keep trying. Which I guess makes her a good instructor. 
3. She hates the sandbells. I'm not sure why she's teaching the class, but she really doesn't know what to do with them. I really like them. I want her to like them. 

Last week I saw a new acupuncturist at the same clinic I've been going to for years, Bradley.  WC has been to Bradley and calls him a "pretty boy," but I figured that just meant he was a little metrosexual (is that still a thing?) because WC thinks dressing up is jeans and his running shoes instead of athletic pants with his running shoes... So yeah. I didn't know.

I was Bradley's first appointment of the day so we met in the lobby versus in the treatment room. We shook hands. I barely exhaled. I went into the bathroom to change clothes and texted WC, "Holy crap. Bradley is totally pretty." In fact, he was the must fucking beautiful man I have ever had touch me anywhere, much less stab me with needles.  I realized that my response to a hot dude is to just keep talking and making jokes and talking and laugh at his jokes and talk and wait... please keep talking to me... 

At the gym I'm pretty quiet. I don't chat up strangers much. I'm not one of those people who interacts with the instructors or staff. I'm polite, but much like how I operate in my building, I just keep to myself. But Andrea tells jokes. And asks for feedback (which all of them do). And I respond (which I never do). And I smile and stick my tongue out (what the fuck is that?). And I even stopped and chatted with her after class last week.

I had my sister's kids a few weeks ago and I took them to a bar that was about 30 minutes away. On the way we talked about who we had crushes on. My oldest niece, who is 10, has a crush on a boy who kicks her. I totally get this. My sister, however, is MORTIFIED. I was that girl in elementary school who always had a boyfriend, but I wouldn't even hold hands with them so don't think I was EASY. I just liked the attention... which came in the form of violence.

I tried to explain to my niece that I understood that at her age the kicking and punching were how kids flirted, but it was important for her to know that it needed to stop being okay because someone who likes you shouldn't be allowed to hit you and that's why her mom was concerned. (But I do get where she and her boyfriends are at... they're 10!)

My other niece, who is 8, doesn't have a crush on the boy she used to have a crush on because EVERYONE in class has a crush on him so she has a crush on a different boy. I like how she doesn't want to compete, but still wants attention. I can relate to that.

My nephew is 5 and is in preschool and has a crush on a girl. I asked, "Connor, what about you? Do you have a crush on anyone at school?" (because I didn't want to say "girl" or "boy" but let him just have an answer). After he confessed his heterosexual tendencies, I asked all of them why they had crushes on who they liked. Probably too deep coming from the 36 year old spinster aunt, but we were having some good conversation on the topic. "Because he/she is cute!" 

When Bradley was offering $15 appointments for Memorial Day, I bowed out of the holiday sale because I didn't want to put make-up on. I hope my girl crush doesn't lead to me feeling like I need to put on make-up to go the gym. That's the downside of the crush... sometimes you have to decide if nurturing a never-gonna-happen-nor-do-I-really-want-it-to is worth the effort of a shower/bra/make-up.

And sometimes you wind up with them anyway because you keep asking them if they're watching basketball.