While dining with my Work Crush the other night, I was showing him pictures on my phone of Palm Springs and he went backwards through them and found the one I had covertly taken of him from the week prior.
He says, "What the hell is this?"
And I said "well, um, it's a picture I took of you without your knowledge... I don't know why I did it *coughilikeyoucough* but you can delete it if you want."
WC: "Did you show it to anyone?"
Me: "No."
But what I meant was "Not yet."
But what I meant was "Not yet."
I hate getting busted.
In high school my friends and I would do "drive bys." These were non-violent and unrelated to any gang mischief. We would simply drive by someone's house who we liked... get it?
When I was 16 I started dating a guy who was 20, M. He was a virtually homeless alcoholic my friends and I befriended at this reoccurring party we'd go to almost every weekend. (For some reason this guy, Otis*, would let all the high school kids come party at his house on Saturdays... probably a red flag for something else I was too stupid to see.) Anyway, M and his brother B (who was 22) would buy us beer and were super entertaining. One summer night, my friend April and I were brave enough (stalkery enough) to actually call M and B to see if they wanted to hang out (we found their number in the phone book... remember those?).
When I first started hanging out with M he owned a motorcycle and would come to the house with no shirt on. (Bless my poor parents.) Despite what might be assumed about a guy with a half-naked chick tattooed on his arm, he was a perfect gentleman and we had tons of fun.
Yes, he was a high school drop-out who hung out with high-school kids, drank to excess every night, and would often get arrested for petty thefts, but he respected me when I said I didn't want to kiss him the first time he asked because he was so drunk. And despite the half dozen or so times all of us would rent a hotel room to party in, he never pushed me to have sex. (He asked, but it was not the same manipulation techniques later dudes would employ.)
Eventually he sold the motorcycle and bought this wonderfully horrible van that can only be described as the exact opposite vehicle you should ever let your 16-17 year old daughter ride in. He had a mattress in the back.
After school, I'd drive by the bottom of his parents' block to see if his van was parked out front. If he wasn't there, I'd drive by the local park... he was usually there.
I drove that van all over town when we'd go out because I was usually the only one sober enough to drive. It was like driving a school bus of idiots around and for some reason I loved it.
There was one night I was driving the van from a party and we stopped at Perkins for coffee/food. Something happened in the parking lot... I'm not really sure what since I hadn't even gotten out of the van, but the cops were called and one of our friends jumped in and told me to drive. I tried to get us out of the parking lot before the cops blocked us in, but the van was not agile and I'm not much for fleeing.
As the driver, I was pulled out of the van while they ran all the information for all the people in the car and investigated whatever had brought them there in the first place. I think someone had started a fight and someone had said they saw a gun... anyway... The creepy van was accused of involvement.
I wasn't cuffed or anything and luckily was stone sober, but I didn't have my ID with me and I was hanging out with a bus load of idiots. The cops found M's pellet gun in the glove box (not illegal...nor the alleged gun that had been waved) and eventually arrested one of the dudes in the van because he had a warrant (petty crimes... Let me reiterate: idiots). The cops were very nice to me because I was nice, truthful, sober, and not an idiot. The cop just asked me why I was hanging out with these losers... all I could say was that they were nice guys.
When we finally were allowed to leave, I drove the van to my house and M and B and I got out of the van and they both hugged me. It's weird to think of that night fondly, but I do. They were such great guys who, for whatever reason, ended up making really horrible life choices.
M and I were never officially boyfriend-girlfriend and when he stopped hanging out with me to date one of my sort-of friends who actually would have sex with him I think I was probably hurt a little, but not so hurt we didn't stay in touch for a long time... with a few make-out sessions here and there.
After the boyfriend I did eventually give up the "won't have sex until marriage" thing for, I realized M would have been a way better first as far as picking a respectful guy is concerned. My real first used the phrase "But it hurts if I don't have sex"... gag.
M and I are friends on Facebook now.
Facebook has made the "drive by" so much easier. On my second date with WC he made some comment about how I don't have a clue how old he is.
Me: Sure I do.
WC: How would you know?
Me: Facebook.
WC: Nuh uh! You can't see my birthday on Facebook. I made it private.
Me: Yeah, but I know when you graduated from High School and I can do math.
WC: DAMMIT!
Eventually when we actually were friends on Facebook I also found his real birthday (which for some reason is super top secret because he's a nut) because he never bothered to remove wall posts wishing him a happy birthday from years ago. Facebook Drive By.... Sucka!
In high school my friends and I would do "drive bys." These were non-violent and unrelated to any gang mischief. We would simply drive by someone's house who we liked... get it?
When I was 16 I started dating a guy who was 20, M. He was a virtually homeless alcoholic my friends and I befriended at this reoccurring party we'd go to almost every weekend. (For some reason this guy, Otis*, would let all the high school kids come party at his house on Saturdays... probably a red flag for something else I was too stupid to see.) Anyway, M and his brother B (who was 22) would buy us beer and were super entertaining. One summer night, my friend April and I were brave enough (stalkery enough) to actually call M and B to see if they wanted to hang out (we found their number in the phone book... remember those?).
When I first started hanging out with M he owned a motorcycle and would come to the house with no shirt on. (Bless my poor parents.) Despite what might be assumed about a guy with a half-naked chick tattooed on his arm, he was a perfect gentleman and we had tons of fun.
Yes, he was a high school drop-out who hung out with high-school kids, drank to excess every night, and would often get arrested for petty thefts, but he respected me when I said I didn't want to kiss him the first time he asked because he was so drunk. And despite the half dozen or so times all of us would rent a hotel room to party in, he never pushed me to have sex. (He asked, but it was not the same manipulation techniques later dudes would employ.)
 |
| This isn't it but it was as creepy as this. His was brown. |
After school, I'd drive by the bottom of his parents' block to see if his van was parked out front. If he wasn't there, I'd drive by the local park... he was usually there.
I drove that van all over town when we'd go out because I was usually the only one sober enough to drive. It was like driving a school bus of idiots around and for some reason I loved it.
There was one night I was driving the van from a party and we stopped at Perkins for coffee/food. Something happened in the parking lot... I'm not really sure what since I hadn't even gotten out of the van, but the cops were called and one of our friends jumped in and told me to drive. I tried to get us out of the parking lot before the cops blocked us in, but the van was not agile and I'm not much for fleeing.
As the driver, I was pulled out of the van while they ran all the information for all the people in the car and investigated whatever had brought them there in the first place. I think someone had started a fight and someone had said they saw a gun... anyway... The creepy van was accused of involvement.
I wasn't cuffed or anything and luckily was stone sober, but I didn't have my ID with me and I was hanging out with a bus load of idiots. The cops found M's pellet gun in the glove box (not illegal...nor the alleged gun that had been waved) and eventually arrested one of the dudes in the van because he had a warrant (petty crimes... Let me reiterate: idiots). The cops were very nice to me because I was nice, truthful, sober, and not an idiot. The cop just asked me why I was hanging out with these losers... all I could say was that they were nice guys.
When we finally were allowed to leave, I drove the van to my house and M and B and I got out of the van and they both hugged me. It's weird to think of that night fondly, but I do. They were such great guys who, for whatever reason, ended up making really horrible life choices.
M and I were never officially boyfriend-girlfriend and when he stopped hanging out with me to date one of my sort-of friends who actually would have sex with him I think I was probably hurt a little, but not so hurt we didn't stay in touch for a long time... with a few make-out sessions here and there.
After the boyfriend I did eventually give up the "won't have sex until marriage" thing for, I realized M would have been a way better first as far as picking a respectful guy is concerned. My real first used the phrase "But it hurts if I don't have sex"... gag.
M and I are friends on Facebook now.
Facebook has made the "drive by" so much easier. On my second date with WC he made some comment about how I don't have a clue how old he is.
Me: Sure I do.
WC: How would you know?
Me: Facebook.
WC: Nuh uh! You can't see my birthday on Facebook. I made it private.
Me: Yeah, but I know when you graduated from High School and I can do math.
WC: DAMMIT!
Eventually when we actually were friends on Facebook I also found his real birthday (which for some reason is super top secret because he's a nut) because he never bothered to remove wall posts wishing him a happy birthday from years ago. Facebook Drive By.... Sucka!
You should be a private detective. With a van. You have lots of experience around idiots and shady people and you are smart on the computer, see! I give good career advice, you're welcome.
ReplyDeleteLow level shady... high-level idiots. I'll stick with my curent career which appears to have the same characters involved.
Delete