1. Be Soft. My dentist says Medium bristles are bad for your gums.
2. Not have cartoons on it. I'm a grown up, dammit.
3. Be unused. I have zero tolerance for used toothbrushes when I'm in the market for new. Zero.
I grabbed an Oral-B because it met the above critera, plus it was on sale. I don't have to share a toothbrush cup, so there's no worry about matching someone else's and having an unfortunate cross-contamination incident. I didn't look at the colors of the handle or the shape of the bristles... I just grabbed one.
Probably not the most notable thing to blog about, but it got me thinking.
When did toothbrush technology start stealing from tennis shoe technology?
Why does my toothbrush need hydrolics? Why does it look like it can pull me up a mountain?
And why does my tennis shoe need to induce seizure?
If I get the Indicator instead of the Pro-Flex, am I truly compromising my oral health?
I understand these types of charts when comparing electronics, cars... even shoes. There truly are features that add to the experience. I need to now the differences in memory and processing speed in a laptop, for example. Size does matter in phone specs. And I do want to know if my running shoe corrects for pronation or not. Because I have that. Or I don't. I don't know.
I think I got the Pulsar. As you can see, the handle is large enough that my crippled paws can adequately grip it while I gnash my teeth against the flexing split head. And apparently the bristles vibrate? Vibration caused not by power, but maybe by the sleek angle at which the bristles are set to get into those nooks and crannies missed by that traditionally shaped toothbrush I've been stealing from the dentist's office for years.
I feel like we're overcomplicating what should be simple. Toothbrush shopping shouldn't require extensive research and anxiety.
I'm sure there's a metaphor in there somewhere, but what I know is that my toothbrush does seem to be making me run faster.
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