Secrets

I just wanted you to see my TARDIS tea diffuser, I use it
with pride behind closed doors

Sex and the City had an episode about Secret Single Behavior. Things they did that they were ashamed of and missed doing once they were living with their significant other. I haven't lived with someone for nearly 13 years. That's... well, that's a teenager is what that is.

Here are things I do because I think no one is watching even though some of these are in public:

1. When I walk by a window I check myself out. I like to believe people think I'm just looking THROUGH the window, but what I want to know is if I look fat or how my ass looks in these pants. But I truly believe people think I'm just window shopping.

2. I sing songs to my cats. They're usually to the tune of a nursery rhyme or whatever. I'm a terrible song writer though so they end up with me just trailing off.

I'm a little princess

Orange and ....cute

Here is my tail.... and...um... here's my poop shute.

(spoken) Nope. That's gross. Shouldn't have said that.
 

and
 

DARCY DOODLE DOOO!
(that's just what a rooster would sound like screaming Darcy's name)
 

and

Fell in love with a caaaat
fell in love once something something so completely
she's in love with the couch
sometimes these felines can be so misleading
he turns and says are you alight?
I said I must be fine because my heart's still beating
come and kiss me by the riverside
kitty says it's fine he don't consider it cheating, no...

and

FUCK YOU STOP SCRATCHING THE COUCH
WHY ARE YOU FUCKING DOING THAT? 

3. Sometimes (always) my eye makeup doesn't all come off and instead of soaking another cotton round in eye makeup remover, I just walk around with mascara blackened lids. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and want to take a picture to post on FB. Then I wonder again why I'm single.

 

4. I pick my nose in the car. A lot. I realize there are windows and none of them are tinted, but I'm pretty sure no one is looking.

 

5. I walk around naked a lot. I don't think I'd do this if I was living with someone although I'm told they would like it. I don't think I'd want someone I loved looking at my jiggles. Neighbors across the street? Sure. They can look at my jiggles. More power to them. 

 

6. I don't feel like I'll find anyone who will let me watch movies/TV on my laptop in bed. I feel like someone would make me get a TV in the bedroom which I'm so very opposed to. Maybe my boyfriend would let me watch movies on a ipad? I don't know, but it just seems like there's not enough room in the bed for me, 2 cats, and a laptop...  Where would this boyfriend fit? I'd probably have to just watch TV in the living room. Lame.

 

7. I regularly take bites off the block of cheese. Almost every time I grate cheese it ends in a nibble. I promise if you come over I will grate off the cheese away from my bites for whatever you're eating. I'm very sanitary that way.

 

 

These aren't actually that shameful as I just told them to the internet and I'm not really ashamed of any of them. Except the nose picking. I should really stop doing that. I'll add this to the post I'm writing about things that I hate when other people do, but I think is fine for me to do.

In other news, I get to have gluten on Saturday. I'm pretty excited about this. On Monday I'm starting this 30 days of meditation thing my friend on Facebook recommended. I think the gluten free for 30 days will be easier. I know I feel better when I meditate regularly, but I lack the discipline to hold still. We'll see how it goes.