On this Eve of the Eve of Christmas Eve

To the woman who flipped me off:

Why? Why did you do this?

I was just driving down an alley to my home. It is not a one-way alley although it does only fit one car. I know it must have been very annoying to find me in the alley after all the effort your male companion had made in pulling out of your parking spot. And I know that it must have really sucked to have to pull back INTO that same parking spot to let me pass.

But to flip me off? And with such venom in your eyes. Like I'd kicked your baby. Or worse, like I'd stolen your precious parking spot at the mall 3 days before Christmas. None of which I did!  

I realize it looks like she's flipping me a cross, but I promise it was a bird.

But you won't win because I won't think about this at all. Not a second thought will be given. No free rent in MY brain to you, young lady! 


Maybe you knew that I'd just purchased the last gluten-free pre-made pie crust from Whole Foods and that I probably wasn't going to use it to make anything for the holidays but simply because it was there and I might make a quiche in the next 3-6 weeks (the crust freezes really nicely). Maybe this pisses you off? Maybe you need to make a gluten-free pie and my selfish act has ruined your holiday. I'd give it to you if you asked nicely...

Maybe you knew that it had been a good weekend for me. That I'd gotten to spend time celebrating my niece's 11th birthday. That I'd spent the afternoon shopping with my dad for my mom because he had surgery on his foot a few weeks ago and he can't drive and that his love for my mom is so sweet it kind of makes ME angry. That the only black in my heart was that coming home meant I was going to have to work all evening. Maybe you just needed to ruin that because your heart is two sizes too small?

And when I stopped my car beside yours to question you about the middle finger you waved at me with such vitrol and you wouldn't tell me why. WHY? What did I do? You looked away and tried to wave me away. And then I realized that this is how people end up shot and I drove on because you're obviously crazy enough to hate me for existing... who knows how far that goes.

And maybe you knew that while replaying this in my head trying to figure out what infraction of humanity I'd committed I would distractedly dump a giant bag of popcorn kernals all over my kitchen (which is luckily [mostly] clean enough that I could just scoop them up and call them "still good"... except the ones on the floor) and you'd win. You'd ruin this moment of Christmas cheer.  

Maybe you just hate me for drawing a really terrible picture of you, but this is really the best I could do. I'm not good at drawing with a mouse.

Anyway, I'm sorry for stopping my car beside yours to gesticulate wildly from inside my car asking, "WHY? WHY? WHAT DID I DO?" That might have been scary because I could be a crazy person, too.

It's possible that I am, but only in the most well meaning of ways.

Sincerely,
The Nice Lady You Flipped Off

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