If wishes were horses, I'd have a pony

When I was in my 20s I didn't like when people at work gave me a nickname. It felt important to have a very professional name so people would take me seriously. It was fine that people discovered I was ridiculous after working with me, but they couldn't know before I actually opened my mouth.

I don't know why a nickname meant "ridiculous" back then, but it's hard being a young woman in a male-dominated industry after getting a minor in Women's Studies. Feminism can be very confusing.

I remember the first time I was talking to a very angry Project Manager who said, "I just can't yell at a woman!" and I thought, "Is now the time to push for equal treatment, or should I just let this one slide?"

Now in my *gasp* later 30s, I'm not as worried about being perceived as completely ridiculous at work. I've built my reputation and career on my strengths and I can now be "Mel" or "Millie" (don't ask) without feeling like my career is impacted.

The job I was interviewing for a few weeks ago offered me the position. While I know I'm good at my job, I don't always know that the things I'm good at are useful anywhere but where I already am... so it was a confusing situation.

Some people find new things to be scary, but I'm really good at new when it comes to my job. I've been with my current company for 5 years and have had 8 bosses. 6 of those bosses were within an 8 month period. New can be an opportunity to reinvent myself. I can leave all my frustrations behind.... And start building new ones.

Ultimately, I decided to stay with my current job. I'm sure some people who know me and hear me whine will think that was the easy choice, and in some ways maybe it was... but it doesn't make it the wrong choice.

A woman, Linda, just joined the board of directors for my company (and by "my" I mean "the company that pays me to show up and do stuff") and she came to speak to a group of us at the office today. She started her own company at age 28 which now has operations in 20 countries. She's written a book on how to succeed in business as a woman. She talks about being loud and asking for what you want and if you don't get it going after it some more anyway. Also, her biceps are amazing (seriously... I'm not trying to minimize her power by talking about her looks, but lady has some smoking guns!). She was incredibly inspiring.

The day I let my boss know I was going to stay, I received an email from my boss's boss telling me how happy he was that I was sticking around. It was the second note I'd received from him on the subject which was very flattering. He's a no-nonsense kind of guy who rarely compliments and who often terrifies me with his Socratic-method way of firing off questions to his staff. In fact, I mostly avoid him for fear of my panic brain answering his questions instead of the brain that says smart things.*

To his "I'm really glad you've decided to stay," I responded, "Be careful. With too much flattery I'll get a big head and start making ridiculous requests. I WANT A PONY!"

Sometimes the ridiculous can not be avoided.
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* I bet Linda never avoided her boss's boss. I bet Linda purposefully and eloquently spoke to her boss's boss. I am not Linda. But I kind of wish Linda was my friend...

Do you think someone would pay me to write an inspiring book about being ridiculous in the workplace? Because I could probably do that.