But not always

Sometimes it's 10:30 pm on a Friday and you realize you're out of toilet paper. Like out out. And you're not going to the store.

Sometimes you might steal toilet paper from the public bathroom in your building because you still aren't going to the store.

Sometimes you wish you'd never read the news.

Sometimes you wake up at 3:30 a.m. and you don't know if you were just dreaming of a horrible asthma attack or if you're actually having one. And maybe it's not even an asthma attack. It might just be a panic attack, but you find your inhaler and take a hit anyway because even if it's not asthma and it's just panic, sometimes panic goes away simply because you took action.

Sometimes you're just happy. And sometimes you're just sad. And when you're sad you're mad that your emotions don't make sense. But you're not mad when you're happy at nothing?

Sometimes you're impressed with how strong you've gotten in yoga class and you can almost do that thing. You know that thing you think you'll never be able to do? You're almost there.

Sometimes you know you should say something and you don't. And then sometimes you don't say something for sooo long you feel like you don't have the right to bring it up anymore because why didn't say you something 18 months ago?

Sometimes someone asks you when you're going to have kids. And then you remember how in the middle of the night you moved and you found a cat and you pet the cat and the cat bit you because it's an asshole and you thumped it on the head for biting you. And you shouldn't thump cats on the head, but you definitely shouldn't thump kids on the head who might just need a hug, but they wake you up and you get grumpy.

And sometimes you know why your cat never learns not to bite because immediately after thumping it on the head you feel sorry and you pet it again. So the cat thinks "Hmmm. Want attention? Bite. Tiny head thump. LOOOOTS of head scratching. More biting would mean more head scratching..."

Sometimes you might realize you've changed because of someone else. Sometimes that's okay and it's made you better. But sometimes you've changed because someone else doesn't value you for you so you hide. And that's not good. This goes back to having not said something for a really long time. Sometimes it's okay to suddenly stand up and say something.

And sometimes you just need a reset button.

Sometimes you should shave your legs, but often you should shave your armpits. Why don't you do that?

Sometimes you go to the coffee shop to work because you know if you stay home you'll just take a nap.

But sometimes while you're at the coffee shop you decide you should make a list of things that might be happening to other people.

Sometimes you get so nervous about good things coming up you think about saying you can't go. Because what if? What if you're not fun enough? And what if you explode? And what if he/she won't like you anymore?

Sometimes, when the leaves fall, you're really glad you don't have a yard because you'd have to rake the leaves and I bet sometimes you just wouldn't... ever.

Sometimes you cry at the gym. Usually in yoga, but sometimes other places. And you think no one will notice because you're all sweaty and redfaced already.

Sometimes you want people to know your secret, but sometimes you like to keep it because it feels special and sometimes you don't want to share your special things. I don't think you have to.

Sometimes getting ready to leave the house (showering, drying, straightening, make-up, dressing) feels harder than climbing a mountain.

Sometimes you buy toilet paper and realize, too late, that you left it on the counter in the kitchen.

Sometimes you don't put stuff away.

But not always.