The incredible shrinking women

From http://transcendboundaries.tumblr.com

I graduated from college with a minor in Women's Studies and worked in the Women's Studies office for two years as part of the Work Study program. (My mom was worried I wouldn't be able to get a job because my resume would scream "FEMINIST".) Probably needless to say, I left college incredibly riled up and jaded about the state of the world for women. Up with women. Down with the oppressive man. DOWN, I SAY!

I have been the beneficiary of affirmative action type activities (hired by the record store so they'd have a girl working there; promoted to make the number of women in management look better) and the victim of gender discrimination (higher level work being taken away from me and given to my male colleagues; disliked and dismissed because I'm strong and loud which means I'm a "bitch").  I've had an HR person investigating a claim of sexual harassment (dude grabbed chick's butt) ask how the woman was dressed (awesome).

I've run the gamut with sexism as experienced in a first world democracy. There were no issues with access to education (except a freshman year professor telling me it didn't matter what I declared as my major since I'd probably just get married right after college, have kids, and then have to worry about braces... true story), access to health care, ability to get loans, jobs, whatever. I was told I was smart. I was told I could be anything I wanted to be. I was told to be careful playing outside at dusk because the dad's were coming home from work and might not see me.

I honestly don't think about these things much, but I can see how they've created some internal conflict... I'm not on the lookout for discrimination or wary of every man in a position of power for fear they might objectify me. I love working with men... and I love working with women. I hate working with douchebags.

It's been an interesting week of pro-woman memes and experiences and I just thought I'd share a few in between my only-funny-because-really? kind of ramblings.

This article talks about ads which use Google's autofill to show perceptions of women in the Google-verse. It's perplexing.

 I did my own test to see what came up for men and got the following:

What is a "trait lyric"? I should probably Google that.

Interesting first result considering my feminist rant. 

2 of the 4 won't even suggest "shoulds"... just shoulders.
I do love some muscular shoulders on men... they should
definitely try to have those.

This woman won "Best Love Poem" which is AWESOME because it's like Whitney Houston's "Greatest Love of All" which was my FAVORITE song to choreograph shows to for my parents when I was 8, but without such follow-up quotes as "Crack is whack." 

A few months ago a friend was asking how to teach her daughters to protect themselves from would-be attackers.  I basically said "teach them to be loud." I think this is my super power. I do not carry a weapon because I'm pretty sure it would end up with my attacker using it against me. But my voice? That can't be turned against me (my words can, but not my voice). Many a creepy situation has been averted, I believe, because of my willingness to loudly ask someone what the fuck they think they're doing. This draws attention they don't want and makes me less fun to deal with. (And sometimes requires an apology, but I'd rather apologize than shrink).

So as Lily alludes in her poem, don't shrink. GROW. Get bigger. It doesn't mean you have to gain weight. Although, feel free to do that if you want. It doesn't mean you have to be an extrovert, life of the party, loudmouth. It means that you take up just us much space as you deserve and you don't let anyone take it away from you.

What it DOESN'T mean is that you should take away someone else's space. There's enough room for everyone. That woman who puts on full make up for a 7 a.m. class at the gym? Give her room. The woman who probably forgot deodorant at the 7 a.m. gym class (me)? Give her LOTS of room. Girly girls and not-girly girls and the woman whose thighs are smaller than yours and the woman whose thighs are bigger than yours and the woman giving her kid formula and Miley Cyrus (although I would ask her to put her tongue back in her mouth, please).

Take up space. You deserve it.
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Because I want to leave you a mental image of me, your new life coach and guru... Tonight I was taking a walk and I choked on water. You know how sometimes when you get a little water down the wrong pipe you can sort of swallow the rest of your sip before coughing up a lung? Not this girl. I had to spit out the water in my mouth so I wouldn't drown. I then, as if nothing weird had happened, moseyed past the man who was staring at me in horror. That's me... classy. Owning it. Takin' up space.