Polyester is itchy

It's not that I'm actually too busy to write, it's that I found this game on my phone and I can't stop playing it: Cross Me Color.

It's like a crossword puzzle with colors and it's really hard on my phone and probably much easier on a tablet, but I don't have a tablet.

It's ruining my life. I'm not sleeping. I'm still eating... don't worry about that. But my sleeping and human interaction outside of work are very negatively impacted. I think they call this addiction.

I smoked a cigarette for the first time at Lollapalooza '92... I was 14. My friends didn't think I'd do it because I was pretty much a goody-goody. But my rebelliousness was sometimes stronger than my logical thinking.

While I had my first smoke at 14, I don't count that year as part of my smoking career. I wasn't a real smoker until I was caught smoking by my parents at 15. If I was stupid enough to get caught, I probably had a real problem about then. By getting caught, however, my problem was solved and I just started smoking openly in front of everyone.

(Don't think them bad parents for not grounding me or whatever some people do. They knew what they were doing.)

So, for 10 years I smoked cigarettes. I didn't do drugs (except once in Amsterdam). I did drink some in High School, but I was such a weirdly responsible kid that I didn't drink a lot because I was always the designated driver... and I took that pretty seriously. In college I didn't really drink either because all they offered was beer and I didn't like beer.

So I smoked. And this rebellion earned me my mother's claim of "an addictive personality." It's not that I'm drawn to addictive things, it's that I really want people to know that they can't tell me what to do despite the fact that I'm pretty much on the stereotypical middle-class life path.

All my friends smoke weed and get drunk? I'll be sober and drive them all over town.

My parents are proud of me? I'll smoke cigarettes!

Straight A's in my advanced placement classes*? I'll date a high school dropout who is also kind of homeless.

Corporate yuppy career path? I'll get a tattoo on my HAND! (this one is a rebellion against myself which is always the stupidest kind)

Tell me I have an addictive personality? I'll quit smoking!

In December it will be 11 years since I quit. One year more than I smoked, which I guess means I should stop talking about it. In my overall life story, it's now a blip. Something I was into for awhile but got over, like wearing polyester golf pants... eventually I realized it's probably not healthy to wear an old-man's discarded trousers. (Goddammit I was cool.)

So I guess I'll talk to you guys again once I'm over this little exercize in time wasting. It's not that I'm addicted. It's that polyester is itchy and smoking cuts into my game-time.

1998 - Rocking the Miley Cyrus before she knew her tongue existed.
Carton of cigarettes. Grandpa pants (they look brown, but trust me...
they're very polyester).  

*I don't count AP History because the class was stupid and who needs to know that shit anyway**?
** Yes, I know... everyone does.