Retail Therapy

It started with Vans.

I had a GC from Christmas to Madewell so it's not like I actually spent any money, but the floodgates were opened.

When I went under contract I stopped spending money and started hoarding cash. Cash for closing. Cash for moving. Cash for the upgrades the condo would need to make it livable for someone not as lazy as I am.

I stopped shopping. I stopped eating out (or slowed it down at least). I stopped getting my almond milk chai every day and went down to 3-4 times a week (that's a $20-$25/week savings!). I didn't buy EVERYTHING I craved when grocery shopping only to find I still had nothing at home that made a meal.... and actually purchased things that make meals.

My neighbor who cuts my hair noticed there weren't packages in front of my door at least once a week and he asked me if everything was okay and I said "I'm under contract" and he just nodded.

And I stopped having my cleaning lady come because FOR GOD'S SAKE IT'S A 1 BEDROOM CONDO YOU CAN CLEAN IT YOURSELF! Except after 4 weeks I begged her to come back to me because cleaning is terrible and I hate it and I'd saved all that money not getting not-coffee so I certainly deserved someone else vacuuming and mopping.

But we broke up. I went to the mall and I bought Vans and I realized I didn't want to buy a townhome that was a dick... I wanted to buy shoes. And maybe that top. Ooooh... those cords are only $20!

I called it retail therapy because I was sad. I am sad. The townhome was awesome and would have been a fun place to live.

So I had Amazon send me some new knitting needles (Amazon Prime - 2 day shipping!). And then I remembered I totally need some new cookie sheets so I had Amazon send me those, too.

And I didn't take my lunch at all last week but instead ate out.

And I booked a trip to Florida where it's hot and there's an ocean and there isn't snow on March 24th when the weather dudes all said "chilly, but dry" but it fucking snowed anyway.

And I just ordered some underwear and new pajama pants from the GAP because my all pajamas seem to be disintegrating and GAP was having a 40% off FLASH sale (it ends at midnight tonight... code is
FLASH).

And I realize that I've completely relapsed. My neighbor won't have to ask what happened with the townhome. He'll just know that I'm not leaving. I may never leave. Real estate may be a long term investment, but I need mascara...

I'll try to hold off on my Sephora stock up until next week. I don't want to break my credit cards...
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P.S. I know I'm a spoiled brat with first world whines... Now where's my goddamned pony!

This isn't from the hotel where I'll be staying, but is close by
so that counts for creating jealousy. 

PPS. Amazon, Madewell, Gap, Sephora... I am accepting sponsorships. Seriously, I have a problem and I'd like you to help me with it. Send me money.

PPPS. I don't shop like this all the time. I feel guilty like I sound like I'm bragging. I'm not bragging. I should probably spend some of my money on therapy for all this guilt I have.